Roleplaying
2004 Archive
2005 Archive
Seminars
| When: | 29 March 2005 |
| Who: | Nybbas (NPCed), Rufus |
| What: | Rufus heads to Shal-Mari to make his Big Pitch to Nybbas. Will he get the chance every Demon of the Media desires, or will he get consgined to Public-Access? |
Shal-Mari - Hell
A place for entertainment, be it cheap or exorbitant, the glitz-encrusted streets produce no overt torture. Pleasures to feast one's eyes upon, and to sample, include cinema, solicitations for sex, fine dining, and clubs. Demons wander freely, laughing and living it up, taking the occasional swipe at a stray soul if they are actually ever bored. To indulge in any of these distractions, though, one must be prepared to pay in Essence. Most are too expensive for demons and the damnded finally bringing to lightly how someone could be tortured here -- namely, by not being able to play.
Rufus fidgets uncomfortably in the waiting room, straining to keep in his seat and await being called. He'd never dreamed it would be this stressful, but, he reminds himself, 'Hell, I can handle this.. I'm Mister Capable... ' ... Yeah. Now if he could just get himself to swallow that load of bull, he'd be sitting pretty.
Welcome to Studio 666, the premier casting location in Shal-Mari. Only the best actors come here, and the finest scripts are tailored to elicit exactly the kind of responses the Prince of Media desires, all to his greater power, and thus advancement in Hell. The followers of Nybbas know this place well, and even moreso, the legends of the Waiting Room, where demons of the Media wait to make their one-shot pitch to Nybbas, for glory or for shame.
Speaking of which, a loud GONG rings out, and one of the televisions in the waiting room shows a cringing demon yelling, a trapdoor opening beneath him as he falls. The trapdoor closes, and the door to Nybbas'
Office opens. In that lovely archtypal Don Pardo voice, Nybbas calls out, "Ladies and Gentlemen, let's all welcome our next contestant on Make Your Pitch, Rufus!" Canned applause fills the room as a spotlight swivels down (Where the Hell did that come from?) to shine on Rufus, illuminating him in just-a-little-too-bright light. "Come on down!"
Rufus swallows HARD, and steps into that office, the florescent lighting hum boring into the back of his head like it were siren-loud, his knuckles white as he stiffly makes his way in, sitting if offered, bowing sycophantically, and being VERY grateful for this time. " I.. Uhh... Ain't always so good with words... So.. I've made a tape.... Stuff sells better coming from onscreen anyway....", and hands it over. "To save time, I combinded a summary of my report on the activity in Austin with my pitch, as youse is so busy."
The video glares to life on the monitor. It opens with a standard Infernal copyright warning, followed by a swirl of color and light that would nauseate most mortals, an eye-grabbing jumble of light and color, that coalesces into the Shal Mari productions logo. Fade to plack, Iris in on Rufus, looking very uncomfortable in a tux and crooked tie, " Good day Sir. I wish to submiterate a golden opportunity to catch a rising star on his way up. As you know, I recently come face to face with...*checks his notes* That is... umm. I interfaced with... umm.. the.. Ethereal en-tuh-tee known as Loki, so-called god of tricksters and spite. He Tried to start a rumble in Austin by killing off a couple celestials, and leaving the other side holdin' the bag... Uhh.. I figured, if you replaced the 'Angels' and 'Demons' wit' rival gangs, it might make a good miniseries... where was I? *rustle of notes* Oh yeah... Umm... So He and Thor is about to have it out right in front of the mortals, when I lets out a bang of Thunder, and steps up. Blow me down if this little floozy who turns out to work for dreams don't step up too. We're Jawing while the nearby meatsacks sleep off the boom, and They start to go off with the freakin angel!", he opens and closes his hands in frustration, looking like h might lose his temper right there on camera, but he recovers. "Yeah.. So I tags along, After all, I saved Their skins from the cops with that song, and the angel gets all tough, threatening to... do .. whatever it is Dream angels do, I was more focused on the prize. Loki sez he'll meet with us, And I think that's a golden oppertunity..." = I propose we give him a show on mortal TV, a lot like that... Funny Videos program, but we slip in more and more malicious pranks, and Jackass-style stunts, encouraging the people at home to tune in for the spills, and send in their own stunts. Of course, we have disclaimers out the wazoo to protect us. Loki himself gets a mortal disguise, and gets to host, and rips into the clips and audience alike with insults and sarcasm, And Believe me, This guy KNOWS how to sell the misfortune of others..."
Music swells, and Rufus begins to fade out, replaced with the logo again. Vo: In Concluderating, I just want to say that even if there ain't room in the schedule for the clip show, Loki is too good a deal to pass up. He CRAVES the attention, and if we get him on TV, I think he could be ours forever. Goodnight, and Stay tuned to ShalTV!
Rufus bites his lip, and just waits, staying as quiet as can be.
There, sitting behind a desk is the Demon Prince of the Media himself, Nybbas. Behind him is a massive bank of television screens, showing clips from a huge number of shows. Most haven't been released to Earth yet, but Rufus can probably recognize a few that have. Nybbas himself, to most demons, looks like a total greasy loser. But none of them say it to his face. Dressed in a tacky grey suit and horrid tie, with wide teeth in a Game Show Host grin, huge glasses, and slicked-back hair, he looks like the archetypal game show host, scummy agent, annoying director, and more combined and made flesh. On the other hand, it's more likely that all of them are simple reflections of him. The Media, after all, is his invention. As soon as Rufus enters, Nybbas changes his tone immediately, gesturing to a clearly-lined square, front and center before his desk. It's labelled 'The Hot Spot'. "All right, stand right there, and let's get this film rolling." He's handed the video, and he pauses for only a second before idly tossing it over to a Secretary-Lilim (dressed sleazy, of course), who puts it into a VCR. The screens in the back all stop, replaced by the video in multiplicity. Nybbas steeples his fingers, the lights glinting off of Nybbas' glasses before he swivels to watch it.
Time passes.
Video is watched.
There is no reply.
As the video ends, a hand idly gestures from the side of the chair. "So. You want to splice in a stunt show and the old home video footage, and cast Loki in as the host?" The Final Jeopardy music begins to play.
Rufus nods. " Sorta. But... Not old footage, Old footage is Blah. What I'd do is To a test call in some cities for people to send in stuff for the pilot, maybe even rig some clips of our own.... Anyway, people will send stuff in. Anything TOO extreme for TV will likely still air in ShalMari, I heard people tried sending FATAL accidents caught on tape to The Americas Funniest Home Videos show..", he pauses to mop his brow. " New clips, New thrills, Then, once we get him cemented, Just think what we could spin him off to... he could make That Simon guy on American Idol look like an amateur.... I'd pay to see him rip into and crush people's dreams on a similar show....Anyway, Sir, It's all up to you, I'm just a grunt till you sez otherwise. You're the one with Vision..", and clams up, sweating bullets.
"Yes. I AM the one with the Vision! I am the Director!" The Big Leather Chair of Doom whirls around, showing Nybbas once more. "I think the boy can bring in ratings. Insult comedy is big, big, big these days. Kobal's hamming it up. We'll sign him to an exclusive contract. Make him a star, IF he's as good as you say he is. I want him in for an audition, pronto. If he's star material, we'll talk about cutting you a contract of your own." Nybbas leans forward, his grin growing sliiiightly wider and significantly more sharklike. "Capiche?"
Rufus pales a bit, and nods like one of those Dashboard dolls. " Oh yeah! Definately! Yes Sir! He's got it! You don't stay around as long as he has without having SOME panache. You say When, I'll get in touch with him, and we'll do lunch. Thank you for your time, Sir."
Nybbas nods, leaning back into his Big Chair. "I said pronto! Get to it! I want to start filming for next season ASAP! Don't call us, we'll call you."
Rufus heads out like a shot, and doesn't stop till he slumps against the wall of the descending elevator.
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